Sunday, July 12, 2015

Having a Rebekah Heart in a Bachelor World

Having the heart of Rebekah in the world of the Bachelor

I had a conversation with my friend the other day about how the church is not much different then the Bachelor. Many women (believing women), in search of their one true love (equally-yoked love), go to California (church) because they can’t seem to find any good guys in the bar (bar). We place ourselves at a church hoping one of the Godly men there will notice us. We pray every time we go in to church, “Lord, please let my husband be here. I am so tired of being single.”

But then the Bachelor world and the Jesus-loving world part ways, or they should. Trusting God in a season of unknowns, heartache, and disappointment is the greatest challenge in front of us, as women of God, at times. Friends get engaged, married, and start to have kids all while you are hoping to be asked out on a date by one of 50 guys at church when there are 300 girls around you. Comparison creeps in. In the church, on the Bachelor, in a bar, on Facebook, everywhere comparison comes to steal kill and destroy you.

“I must not be beautiful enough. I am not smart enough. I don’t know enough about the word of God. I have blonde hair and guys are more attracted to brunettes. I wish I had her body. Gosh look at my love handles, my nose, my cellulite.” We pick ourselves apart imagining we could try to be all of the best things about those girls at once. Instead of recognizing and seeing our different personalities, bodies, and ideas as gifts to the many-parts body of Christ.

My mom and I were talking the other day about this guy I have a crush on. I told her about his character, how he loves and obeys the Lord, how he has interacted with my friends, and how he interacts with me. She was (I think) glad to hear me talking about somebody in that way, until I said, “Yea but I don’t know why he would ever like me. It’s not even worth liking him because he is way out of my league. There are a million other girls more beautiful and Godly then I am who like him too.” COMPARISON. It isn’t even about that guy, it’s about believing and trusting the Lord is in control. It’s about offering our affections and attractions towards other guys to the Lord. It’s about being ourselves and not trying to be someone else just to be liked by a certain guy. It’s about turning our hearts in the opposite manner from what the world tells us. It’s about praying for yourself, and the other ‘million’ girls that like him that your heart’s wouldn’t trade the affection they have for Christ for affections towards a human being. It’s about letting go of expectations and trusting the Lord is leading that guy towards who he is supposed to be with. It’s about letting him pursue the woman he feels he is called to pursue, not jumping to the punch line and asking him out because you aren’t patient enough to wait on the Lord.

If we have been raised with Christ, we seek the things that are above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. We set our mind on things that are above, not on things that are on earth (Colossians 3:1-2).

When we set our minds on things that are above we naturally think about ourselves less. We begin to think more about the number of young women around us who don’t know Jesus who are waiting to hear the Gospel from our lips. We think about the many women in the church who need to be discipled by a woman with a content heart. We think about the life of Christ and the worthiness of loving him well.

I have been so enthralled by the story of Isaac and Rebekah lately. I have dreamed about their story, and woken up in the middle of the night with the Lord asking me, “read Genesis 24 again.” I am fascinated by the sort of naivety Rebekah carried when the servant approached her and asked for water from her jar. She gave him drink, then drew more water to water his camels. In the back of her mind she wasn’t thinking, “oh I bet this servant has come to make me the wife of an amazing man, so I better put on my best behavior and serve him better then I ever have served anyone in the past.” No, she was who she is. Her character was one of a servant. In fact she didn’t even know what she had ‘won’ until Abraham’s servant began to speak at dinner about Abraham and all he has, and the young man to whom all of it would be given. There was a reward to her faithfulness (not that there always will be), but the reward was more satisfying because she didn’t know it would be given to her as a response to her servanthood. 

In this same manner I pray my single sisters in Christ and I will go about our lives serving the Lord with our whole hearts, offering sacrifices of praise to God, and sacrificially giving and serving those around us. I pray we choose to walk in our identities knowing who the Lord has created us to be. I pray we will walk in a humble manner, rejoicing when the guy we had a major crush on decides to pursue another girl, having confidence he was hearing from the Lord in pursuing her and not you. I pray we won't be afraid of having crushes (it is okay to desire marriage, and to want to marry a Godly husband), but we will hold it loosely and pray for him with no selfish motives. I pray we fight the temptation to compare ourselves to those around us in the church and in the world, and that we as the church will build each other up and encourage one another in each person’s strengths.

Our Father is right now raising up men who will put their hand to the plow and not look back. As He calls these men, it is our role as women-sisters in Christ-to support, encourage, and love without pressure and excessive standards. We are to build our brothers up and believe our perfect Father will call them where He pleases. Thanks be to God, we can trust Him with our hearts, minds, souls and bodies.

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