Tuesday, April 15, 2014

My Darlin'

My Darlin',

It's your second birthday in Heaven! I miss you more today then I did yesterday but the Lord has been so good to me and given me so much joy today. I had a birthday party for you! Definitely wasn't the same without you here, but I know you received the balloons in Heaven! And I know Jesus held you extra tight today. I can't imagine what it feels like to be held by Him (I'm sure it's much greater then the times I held you :).

It's been two years since I last saw you, and your love is still teaching me things often. When Jesus let me be your mom for the last 6 weeks of your life, He knew what He was doing, and He knew I needed a precious soul like yours in my life. It broke me, but Jesus has made me whole, and I am thankful.

Our Father spoke to me this morning. He told me to believe this truth about you today my darlin':
"What is sown is perishable, what is raised is imperishable. It is sown in dishonor; it is raised in glory. It is sown in weakness; it is raised in power. It is sown a natural body; it is raised a spiritual body. If there is a natural body; there is also a spiritual body." [1 Corinthians 15:42-44] You are imperishable! And you are treasured. And I am treasuring His Word today and forever, holding it close to my heart.

He is good.

Happy Birthday my beautiful darlin' Daughter!

Hope you had an extravagant birthday in Heaven with many angels praising our Jesus with you!

To read about the day EG went to be with the Lord: click here
To read about her first birthday in Heaven: click here

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Sunday, April 13, 2014

God's Not Dead

God's Not Dead

Went into this movie not expecting to be challenged so much. However almost immediately after the movie had started the Lord challenged me, "would you be willing to stand in front of this full movie theater and share the Gospel after this movie is over?"

I continued thinking about this question the Lord had asked me, and continued watching the movie.

But He kept stirring my heart and challenging me to love all of those people well by sharing with them.

Then the main character in the movie-Josh- quotes C.S. Lewis,
"Only real risk reveals the quality of one's belief."

"Was it worth the risk Lauren?" the Spirit inside of me asked.

What was I really risking? It's not like I would ever see these people again. No, the risk was nobody responding to the Gospel, nobody responding to what I would say. But the Lord is so good to us, and doesn't hold us responsible for how people respond, just to whether we said it or not.

I do believe that Jesus Christ is the "power of salvation to all who believe" (Romans 1:16). So it was worth the risk.

The movie ended, I went down the stairs and stood in front of everybody, yelling over the music "if anybody wants to know how to know Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior you are welcome to come talk to me and my lovely YWAM friends."

Nobody came, but that wasn't the point right?

The point was for me to be obedient to what Jesus had told me, that is what I will be held accountable to.

That's what we are all held accountable to. Not whether people accept or reject the Gospel, but that we were willing to share it with them in obedience to Christ.

After all, "How, then, can they call on the one they have not believed in? And how can they believe in the one of whom they have not heard? And how can they hear without someone preaching to them? And how can anyone preach unless they are sent? As it is written: “How beautiful are the feet of those who bring good news!” (Romans 10:14-15).

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Saturday, April 5, 2014

The impenetrable darkness becomes penetrable

I know what she is doing Lord. She is running away from you. She knows you have found her where she is. She knows you have been waiting for her to come running into your arms. She has been in the dark Lord, indulging in the darkness and the fleeting satisfaction of the world. But in that dark musty dungeon, there is a small amount of light seeping in through the cracks. It's been so long since she has seen the True Light her eyes cannot handle it, so she tries to cover it up. She temporarily covers the hole with her hand while she turns around and refocuses her attention on the gate to the dungeon.

On one hand she wants to escape but she is thinking the way to escape is by enticing the gatekeeper, when in reality the Light that is hurting her eyes is what is going to free her from the dungeon. She is too focused on the world's way of escape to realize that the True Escape is breaking through the walls. Ironically enough we don't think when Peter got out of prison it wasn't because the gate was opened by the guard, it's because the Lord brought him out of there and they simply walked out of the prison.

For the longest time my sweet sister, and every other believer in this world did not know you were imprisoned. But you were imprisoned to the ways of this world. The darkness did not seem as darkness because your indulgences gave you the false promise and temporary light. As long as you were indulging in these things, you didn't know you were in the darkness. Then by God's grace He shined an eternal light (the moon) a slight light for the night to show you the darkness that surrounds you. Then you are AWARE. Then you can see the darkness that you have been entangled in. But just seeing it doesn't free you. You then have to trust that little sliver of light that is seeping through the cracks. Although it hurts, you must trust that it will release you from the dungeon.

And she isn't sure, she hasn't fully trusted that what you are bringing Lord is immeasurably more than what she can imagine.

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