Saturday, December 28, 2013

The Darkness

It is dark, but not Ugandan child sacrifice dark.

It is dark, but not Jordanian Islamic religiosity dark.

It is dark, but not Haitian voodoo and witchcraft dark.

It is dark, but not American consumerism dark.

It is that seemingly impenetrable dark.

It is that darkness that surrounds you and robs you of your peace and contentment.

It is that darkness that won't let you sleep at night because it lingers.

It is that darkness that steals your words of Truth right as they come out of your mouth.

It is that darkness that makes you weep.

It is that darkness that helps you better understand the weight of sin on our Savior.

It is that darkness that makes you fall at your Savior's feet day and night.

It is that darkness that comes to mind when you are on your knees before the Lord.

It is that darkness that radiates the evident need of humans for a savior.

It is that darkness that makes you cry out "LORD LET YOUR KINGDOM COME."

And with a resounding lament, "on earth AS IT IS IN HEAVEN."


This darkness is what has kept me from writing these past few weeks. I know many of you have been wondering what is going on in Thailand, and I want to apologize for just now updating you. I simply have not the words to speak about the place we have been in. A few days before Christmas, the Lord drew me into His bosom and allowed me to see the beautiful women we have been loving, as well as the seemingly "nasty" men who use those women. And when I gazed out that window, praying and worshiping over that dark street the Lord so patiently said to them, through me, "I see you." and said to me, "Lauren I see them. I don't just see what they are doing right now. I don't just see the women offering their bodies to these men. I don't just see these men as the dogs it looks like they are, buying these women off of the street. I see my precious daughter, wrapped in the most beautiful robe of righteousness, white as snow. And I see the men, bowing before my throne worshipping me in humble adoration of a King who loved them 'while they were yet sinners' [Romans 5:8]. I rejoice over them and exult over them singing "oh how I love you." and although it doesn't seem like they hear me, deep in their soul I am doing a work in them. Their soul is remembering the singing it is hearing, and it is storing that song in their hearts. One day they WILL receive that song and be set free from this place. Just rejoice my servant, for you too were as they are and now you are free indeed!"

The Light of Christ was the only hope for my lost soul. And this same Light of Christ is the hope of the souls in this beautiful country.

Thankful to be given the opportunity to see God's love poured out over this country. The weight of His Love for these people is unfathommable.

Peace be to you brothers and sisters! Thank you for the prayers.

Thursday, December 5, 2013

Number 14,765,456


Is it a fear that I will be overcome with a love for another people group?
Is it a fear that my heart will again be burdened for an injustice that seems so impossible to overcome?
Or is it a fear that she will no longer be just a number?

Here they are, all sitting in front of me. One by one, lined up, and forgotten. They are a number. 26,342,567. Slaves. Sex slaves.

And I see that number, number 14,765,456. And I cry out to God for that number.

But in 9 or 10 days that number, number 14,765,456 will become a face. And then, only then, she can no longer be number 14,765,456. Then her face, and her name, and her passions will be written on my heart. Then I will be able to weep with her and cry out to God beside her. But I won't be able to rescue her from where she has been.
Just. Like. With. Ella. Grace.

And that is precisely my greatest fear. I want to rescue them from being just a number. I want to rescue them from becoming one of those numbers. But I can't. I can't. I keep hitting that wall, that wall at the end of the word "can't," the wall at the letter "t." Which very possibly is where the Lord wants me. At the end of myself . And the beginning of Himself, "I can."

"My grace is sufficient, for my power is made perfect in weakness." [2 Corinthians 12:9]

There at the "t" I find my end. The end of my strength, the end of my tears, and the final shattered piece of my heart. There His Spirit, His life, and His Son, Jesus come to life fully inside of me. And there a battle is being won against my flesh. For if there is one thing I have discovered in the past 6 months, it is that once we relinquish it all, then He shows His all-powerful self through us.

And He says, "my daughter, you cannot rescue her from being that number, because sin exists, and death persists, but what you can do, by my grace, is keep her from remaining number 14,765,456. By loving her as Jesus, she will be prevented from remaining number 14,765,456, and her identity will be daughter of the King of Kings, precious in my eyes, honored, and My Beloved. Which is exactly who Ella Grace became, and who she is even now as she rejoices at my throne. It will hurt you my Beloved, because this was never the way it was intended to be, but I promised you, and remind you I AM COMING BACK. And behold, I am with you always to the end of the age."