Sunday, September 22, 2013

The darkness

They don't tell you about the darkness do they?

They don't tell you about the nights you will spend with your eyes closed and your mind wide open. They don't tell you that it will be impossible to turn your furiously beating heart down for a little while to find some sense of peace [except when fly-fishing]. They don't tell you that you will feel like you are in a dark hole, trying to climb out but every time you grab the edge the dirt just falls straight on you. They don't tell you that the Light has to enter into the darkness. They don't tell you that fearlessly loving someone means you are more deeply exposed to potential grief and pain when that person leaves you, whether physically or emotionally. They don't tell you that they will ALWAYS LEAVE YOU.

Because death exists. And it sucks. It was never intended. It was never part of the Plan. But it happens.

I just thought I would tell you.

That it hurts. It's more painful than anything you will ever experience physically. It's not eternal but it feels like it. It is deeply rooted into a place you can't even touch, only they can. Only He can. And it affects your every move, your every thought. The questions never end. I'm sorry I wish I could say they do, but they don't. You won't ever forget that person. But you will forgive.

He knows He is mysterious. He knows you have questions. And He knows you are hurting. And He didn't intend for there to be pain. But there is sin. And death exists. And it sucks. And somehow someway this all will be redeemed. I promise. Well, He promised. And He can't break promises like I can and I do.

He knows your mad. He knows you wish you could run away from Him. Go ahead, try.


YOU CANNOT HIDE FROM HIM. [even when you wish you could]

But go ahead and try. You will find yourself back on your knees begging Him for the grace He has already given you.

You are forgiven, eternally. And no, it isn't wrong for you to yell at Him. He knows you are angry, He knows you can't understand His mysterious sovereignty. And NO He doesn't trust you because "he knows you can handle it." YOU CANT. HE CAN. That's the Gospel. That's why we exist.

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Tuesday, September 3, 2013

Why we memorize scripture

Why do we memorize scripture?

We memorize scripture not for the prosperous times when we love being in the Word. We memorize scripture for the days when our hearts struggle to desire the word; looking for Truth in the depth of our souls we call to mind what was joyfully written on and hidden in our hearts when joy was easy to find.

Yesterday while I was crying out to my friend about how angry it makes me that we have to suffer daily by seeing sin all around us and knowing we will not be released from it in this world, I called to mind what Revelation 12:7-12. It would do you good to read it:

Now war arose in heaven, Michael and his angels fighting against the dragon. And the dragon and his angels fought back, but he was defeated, and there was no longer any place for them in heaven. And the great dragon was thrown down, that ancient serpent, who is called the devil and Satan, the deceiver of the whole world—he was thrown down to the earth, and his angels were thrown down with him. 10 And I heard a loud voice in heaven, saying, “Now the salvation and the power and the kingdom of our God and the authority of his Christ have come, for the accuser of our brothers has been thrown down, who accuses them day and night before our God. 11 And they have conquered him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony, for they loved not their lives even unto death. 12 Therefore, rejoice, O heavens and you who dwell in them! But woe to you, O earth and sea, for the devil has come down to you in great wrath, because he knows that his time is short!”

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