Friday, August 23, 2013

Two roads

Two roads diverged on a narrow mountain, 
And I, I took the one less traveled, and it took me to a place of abandonment, 
A dark dark wood cluttered with falsities and lies, 

There I was surrounded, suffocating from the very things 
I thought to be true, good, noble, and worthy. 

There, there I stood longing for the other road, 
the road which ought not lead me to a place of such abandonment, 

But I heard somebody calling from the other side, 
"do not walk this path, it may seem to be brighter over here 
but it is leading to eternal darkness." 

And so I continued, walking the path of pain and suffering, 
barely holding on to the Truth that there will be Redemption.

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1. “Enter by the narrow gate. For the gate is wide and the way is easy that leads to destruction, and those who enter by it are many. For the gate is narrow and the way is hard that leads to life, and those who find it are few. [Matthew 7:13-14]
2. "Surely God is good to Israel, to those who are pure in heart. But as for me, my feet had almost slipped; I had nearly lost my foothold. For I envied the arrogant when I saw the prosperity of the wicked. They have no struggles; their bodies are healthy and strong.  They are free from the burdens common to man; they are not plagued by human ills. Therefore prideis their necklace; they clothe themselves with violence.  From their callous hearts comes iniquity; the evil conceits of their minds know no limits.  They scoff, and speak with malice; in their arrogance they threaten oppression.  Their mouths lay claim to heaven, and their tongues take possession of the earth.  Therefore their people turn to them and drink up waters in abundance.  They say, "How can God know? Does the Most High have knowledge?"  This is what the wicked are like-- always carefree, they increase in wealth.  Surely in vain have I kept my heart pure; in vain have I washed my hands in innocence.  All day long I have been plagued; I have been punished every morning.  If I had said, "I will speak thus," I would have betrayed your children.  When I tried to understand all this, it was oppressive to me  till I entered the sanctuary of God; then I understood their final destiny.  Surely you place them on slippery ground; you cast them down to ruin.  How suddenly are they destroyed, completely swept away by terrors!  As a dream when one awakes, so when you arise, O Lord, you will despise them as fantasies.  When my heart was grieved and my spirit embittered,  I was senseless and ignorant; I was a brute beast before you. Yet I am always with you; you hold me by my right hand.  You guide me with your counsel, and afterward you will take me into glory.  Whom have I in heaven but you? And earth has nothing I desire besides you.  My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.  Those who are far from you will perish; you destroy all who are unfaithful to you.  But as for me, it is good to be near God. I have made the Sovereign LORD my refuge; I will tell of all your deeds." [Psalm 73]

Monday, August 19, 2013


"If then I am a wrongdoer and have committed anything for which I deserve to die, I do not seek to escape death."

Lost, wandering,
not really sure where is up. Not really sure I believe in Up.

I want to, but I just can't.

Thankful. For the small things:

My time in Colorado.

The people praying for me all over the U.S.A.
The people surrounding me with love and wisdom.
My brother and his new wife, and their beautiful wedding.

An awesome new friend, fishing guide, and wedding date (a great dancer and a Patrick Dempsey look alike).

My family.

Four-wheeling with the famjamily

10 mile bike adventure in the Zirkel wilderness

Rehearsal dinner with the siblings

Some sweet time on the river with my [twin] sister and our three "other brothers."

Dreading every day, waking up to a nightmare of a life.

At the lowest and deepest point of my life thus far. If only I believed the promise that He picks me up from the miry pit.

I delight in knowing that there is something in me which must fall prostrate before God when He reveals Himself to me, and also in knowing that if I am ever to be raised up it must be by the hand of God. God can do nothing for me until I recognize the limits of what is humanely possible, allowing Him to do the impossible. -Chambers

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