Sunday, April 21, 2013


30 reasons why I am thankful in April:

I am thankful for freedom.

I am thankful for the freedom of knowing Christ.
I am thankful for the freedom to love others as Christ loves us.
I am thankful for the freedom that I have felt in this last week, as Jesus truly has let me release the burdens that have been upon my back for the past year. I am thankful He has set me free and given me the strength to set my sweet Ella Grace free to enjoy her Savior.

Monday, April 15, 2013

What I never told you

Ella Grace,

There is something I never told you during that day.

When I sat outside those two white doors next to my precious friend Rhyan, and all of the thoughts were running through my head of what could possibly happen
When I heard that Canadian doctor tell me, "what happens happens"
When I sat on that bench with my head on my knees begging the Lord to make sense of it all
When Rhyan looked at me with true, honest, Christ-centered eyes and told me she was there for me
When my heart couldn't stand to be separated from you as your poor little body suffered on that huge hospital bed
When my arms pushed through the doors and ran to hold your tiny little hand again
When I looked at your body and longed to take away the suffering
When you opened your eyes and looked straight into mine

I knew where you were going. 

I knew the Lord had already called you to Himself. I knew that He was holding you rocking you, and teaching you to live in the freedom of knowing Him. I knew that you were in the presence of Jesus because you slept so peacefully with your eyes closed. It was only when you awakened to see this world so full of sin and sorrow that you began to scream and cry. It was only when your eyes saw the deep depths of despair that this world brings that you wanted to return to your sweet slumber.

When I carried you into the Children's room
When I sat next to you on the bed and wondered how long we would have to be in that sorrow-filled room
When my heart couldn't possibly grasp the reality of death

I knew where you were going.

I knew that the weight of God's glory was shining upon your face. I knew that His presence was radiating into your soul. I knew that He was speaking to you. I knew that He was preparing you to enter into eternity.

When I held your lifeless frame
When I looked at my sweet friend Bethany's face, looking for some sort of hope
When she gasped and felt my pain
When I waited as they placed your body in a box
When I walked outside into the sunlight and wondered where the Son was
When I fell down on my knees weeping with an unimaginable pain in my heart
When I cried out to God saying, "eli eli lama sabacthani [my God, my God, why have you forsaken me?]"
When many Haitians gathered around me on that hot pavement
When I began to walk away from that dreadful place
When I held your precious self for hours
When I shed a thousand tears and felt they still weren't enough

I knew where you were.

I knew that Heaven gained a precious soul. I knew that angels upon angels were rejoicing at your still small voice beginning to speak for the first time. I knew that Jesus sought your soul and found you. I knew that He Alone was rescuing you from the grave. I knew that you were in the presence of the Great One.

When we gathered around the hole
When we prayed as sisters and brothers
When I felt the Body of Christ
When we sang "Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound, that saved a wretch like me"
When I kissed you for the last time in this world
When we placed you in your earthly dwelling place
When the clouds surrounded the sun and it seemed to shine directly on you
When I planted sunflowers on your grave

I knew where you found rest.

I knew that Jesus had said 2000 years ago that He had gone ahead to prepare a place for us

“Do not let your hearts be troubled. You believe in God; believe also in me. My Father’s house has many rooms; if that were not so, would I have told you that I am going there to prepare a place for you? And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am. You know the way to the place where I am going.” [John 14:1-4]

I knew that you had been set free to love Jesus with all He enabled you to love Him with. I knew that you were dancing before Him, with many tribes of people. I knew that they saw you my precious daughter as a perfect representative of your beloved country, Haiti. I knew once you were in the eternal presence of God, you would no longer remember the pain you suffered in this world.

When I didn't sleep for days 
When I was thinking of you every day this past year
When I trembled at the pain of losing you
When Jesus reminded me of His Sacrifice
When our Father reminded me of His Grace
When the Holy Spirit reminded me of His power

I remembered you are in Paradise.

You, my Sister, my beloved Child, the second love of my life, I must set you free to enjoy your Savior. I must set you free that I may live in joy. I must set you free to rejoice in your Father. I must set you free to Dance for all eternity with your Eternal Love.

And O My Precious Love, how I long for that day when I will be reunited with you and my Savior to worship in Freedom and full glorification. 

Jesus, my soul waits longingly, expectantly for your return. Please Jesus may this Word reach the thousands out there who have lost a child, who have suffered the extreme pain that your Father experienced when He saw His Son upon the cross, and heard you cry, "Eli Eli lama sabachthani."

Let me never forget the ultimate Love that was shown upon that Cross.
Oh how great you are my Beloved Jesus.

Sunday, April 14, 2013


April 11, 12 13, 14

30 Reasons why I am thankful in April

I am thankful for peace. I am thankful for quiet. I am thankful for Jesus' still, strong voice.

Tuesday, April 9, 2013


30 reasons why I am thankful in April:

I am thankful for accountability, even if it comes through the phone a few hundred miles away. I am thankful for this sister. I cannot even explain the depth of the Love of our gracious God for calling her to come speak to me, a stranger at the time, two years ago and introduce herself. What a loving sister I have in her. Jesus thank you.


Wow, what a faithful sister in Christ.

Monday, April 8, 2013

Spring time

30 reasons why I am thankful in April:

I am thankful for Spring time, for the pollen, the green trees, a picnic in the park, and a hike around the lake, all during a lunch break with one spectacular guy!

P.S. well..honestly I don't know how huge of a fan I am of all this pollen, it seems to be taking over :-/

Sunday, April 7, 2013

An Evangelistic Brother

30 reasons why I am thankful in April:

Day 7: An Evangelistic Brother

I am thankful for my evangelistic brother in Christ, Chase Inman. I am thankful for the marvelous work the Lord has been doing on his heart, and I am thankful to hear of this work daily. I am thankful for the clear love he has been given from the Lord, for sinners, and lost people. And I pray the Lord may also give me an evangelistic heart, that I too may be willing to share the Truth of the Gospel with anybody I come into contact with. I am thankful to do life with this brother and best friend.

And I am thankful for a long walk/run with my mom on Mobile Bay. I am thankful for the precious time I have had with her this weekend.

Saturday, April 6, 2013

Christ-Centered Love

30 reasons why I am thankful in April

Day 6 Christ Centered Love

I am thankful for a sweet sister and brother named Carly and Tripp Haas as of today! I am thankful for the Word read at their wedding, and their genuine desire to make Christ known in their relationship. I am thankful that through the fire and temptations that they have gone through together, that the Lord is still faithfully their priority. Through that they have learned to love each other with the Christ centered love that lives within them.

What a sweet gift of the Lord to have been able to come to Mobile bay to witness the Lord display. his glory through this couple and through the beautiful finale to the wedding, this sunset:

Friday, April 5, 2013

Sisters in Christ

30 reasons why I am thankful in April

Day 6: Sisters in Christ

I am thankful for my sisters in Christ, for their genuine desire to learn and study the Word, and to share the Gospel with others! I thank you Lord for the story of the Good Samaritan and how it challenged us on this Friday evening to love with the power of the Spirit inside of us: [UNCONDITIONALLY]


Yes thank you Jesus for this perfect evening.

Thank you for Chase and I's new friend Jessica, I pray Father that you may call her soul to you, and I pray Lordthat you would stir her heart to come to church with us Sunday!


Thursday, April 4, 2013

Day 4: Unconditional Christ-like Love

30 Reasons why I am thankful in April:

I am thankful for unconditional Christ-like love which came for 22 years of my life [so far] in the form of a blonde-haired, blue-eyed, 5'10" Christ follower named Lisa Bond. I am thankful for her pure desire to love me without condition. I am thankful that despite those terrible years, and those terrible moments when I rejected her love, she continued to show me the Gospel by loving me more.

My heart aches with a desire to go back to the days when I said 'I hated her.' And yet, that is the consequence of my sin. I have to acknowledge that in my reckless, sinful state I could not love my mother fully, yet now, I rejoice that I can love her fully on this side of eternity.

My heart also aches thinking of it being one year since she held Ella Grace on her birthday while the all the other children in the orphanage sang happy birthday to her.

Oh yes mom, I love you more than you know. And I pray that the rest of my children whether spiritual or physical know you, their grandma, the way that sweet Ella Grace knew you before she went ahead of us.

and I simply CANNOT wait to worship with you for ALL of eternity.

Wednesday, April 3, 2013

Day 3: the fellowship of the Saints

30 Reasons why I am thankful in April

Day 3: the Fellowship of the Saints

I am thankful for an evening filled with laughter and conversations with an incredible Christ centered  couple named Wes and Stephanie. I am thankful for their wisdom, and their desire to intercede for us. I am thankful for the Body of Christ.

[[Chase, especially the mouth - clearly for eating]]

Tuesday, April 2, 2013

Day 2: the Word of God

30 Reasons why I am thankful in April

Day 2: I am thankful for the fact that this Word was spoken to me this morning, and that this Word testifies to the fact that we are on the other side of eternal life. We no longer have to wonder who the Messiah will be. He has come, He has died, He has risen, and He is coming back again, thank you Jesus.

Matthew 13:16-17

I am thankful that I have the complete Word of God.

And I am thankful for a sweet man with special needs who Chase, my parents, and I ate dinner with tonight. I am thankful that after asking him if he had read 1 Samuel, and wanting to share a story with him from 1 Samuel, he responded by saying, "yes, yes I have read the Word of God from beginning to end." I replied by saying, "wow, that's amazing, how many times have you read it?" and he responded by saying, "every day since my mom gave it to me in 1997. You see I love the Lord, He is all I live for. He bore mockery, shame, whips, and ultimately hung on a tree (he said he got the chills when he said that) all for us, how can I not give Him my life?"

You know when you know someone believes something with their whole heart? And when they see life through that which they believe? Benji sees everything through the power of Jesus Christ. It infiltrates everything he says and does. His faith is just like a child's, so simple, so matter-of-fact, and so humble. Faith like his is what I long for.

What the world tells him should inhibit him from living, is the very thing which enables him to LIVE [[with faith like a child.]]

Lord thank you for your Word, please grant me the desire to read your Word, as the breath that gives me life, daily.

[PS I am thankful for a best friend who also decides not to wash his hair on the same day as me, and figures out a way to hide it - as did I. I.E> I love that our minds think alike:]

Monday, April 1, 2013

30 reasons why I am thankful in April

Day 1: I am thankful for my servant-hearted, Gospel-centered, forgiving, best friend and brother, who decided to surprise me by cleaning my room while I was at work today, and by leaving me an encouraging letter.

And for this Word from the Lord this morning at Lifeline Children's Services staff Bible study:

"Whoever makes a practice of sinning is of the devil, for the devil has been sinning from the beginning. The reason the Son of God appeared was to destroy the works of the devil. No one born of God makes a practice of sinning, for God's seed abides in him, and he cannot keep on sinning because he has been born of God. By this it is evident who are the children of God, and who are the children of the devil: whoever does not practice righteousness is not of God, nor is the one who does not love his brother."
1 John 3:8-10