Monday, May 10, 2010

great great day, awesome significant other ;-), and GREAT GREAT GOD

I drove home from Auburn today. It was quite the sad day. i never thought it would be this hard to say goodbye. I just saw it as moving on, but I love Auburn a lot more than I thought I did. It really has become a home to me, and now I am stuck in square one again, not knowing what to do. I mean on one side I could live at home and go to samford for graphic design and theology, or i could change my major and stay at auburn? I mean neither one is more convenient then the other, besides the fact that all of my friends are at auburn not at samford. Either way i am going to be sooo far behind on graphic design :-/ I AM SOOOO CONFUSED. What to do what to do?

Anyways...a while ago Van pointed out to me that I had never written about him in my blog. i thought I would write about him without him knowing so in a couple of weeks i can say ooo yea i wrote about you a while ago ;-) haha....tricky...just kidding. I don't know why I haven't ever written about him. i guess I just forget how much of a blessing he is in my life, and i take him for granted so much. He is in Minnesota right now hanging out with all of his friends that he worked with at camp last summer for 3 months. I know that Minnesota had such a HUGE impact on his walk with God, and that is why i am so happy for him to have this opportunity to go up there again, and to have the Holy Spirit rejuvenated in him. He is so strong-willed and kind. Those are two very different characteristics, but they are both definitely a part of who he is. He loves and loves and loves everybody who surrounds him, and he constantly wants to make sure everything is okay with everybody else before he even thinks about himself. He also doesn't care what people think of him. i remember this one time we were supposed to have lunch and this was when we first started "officially" dating in September. Anyways, he knew how i felt about him wearing overalls and cowboy boots when he was around me, just because that is one goofy outfit to wear to school. So he knew he was going to see me that day, and in order to embarrass me he wore his cowboy boots and overalls....guess what....I hugged him even more than if he hadn't been wearing them because it made me soo happy that he thought he could embarrass me by wearing a specific outfit. Van has this very very solid heart of gold, and it is really hard to get into it and see, but once you do you realize that it is really really soft on the inside. His heart of gold is so strong that he is determined to do everything he can to surrender himself completely to God, and love others the way He loves/loved us. he is chasing after God and I am so excited to be with him and watch God turn him into a wonderful man of God, which he has already become! The Holy Spirit has great great power in van because he allows the Holy Spirit to take over his actions and thoughts, and when he doesn't he realizes his mistake pretty darn fast. I pray so hard that while he is in MN that the Lord rushes over him like a mighty wind and awakens his heart and soul to see things he never thought he would see. The Lord whispers to Van and it is so beautiful to see the majestic attitude van possesses because of the Holy Spirit inside of him. He is inspired by the outdoors, and it makes perfect sense because that is God's pure creation. I get butterflies in my stomach thinking about what God is doing for him in Minnesota right now. even though today is the first day he is there I know God is blessing him abundantly while he is there! And that is my prayer, that and Ecclesiastes 11:9 over Mr. Van Jones.

Today when I got home I ran upstairs to start playing with my new slr digital camera, and i was caught off guard. My parent said I could pay for half and the other half would be my birthday present. So i was pretty pumped about getting it but i was a little worried about spending so much money on ONE thing. The more I prayerfully thought about my desires and passions, the more God justified this HUGE purchase. Well my half is already paid for, because I randomly got a check for taxes for alabama, a check for taxes for colorado, and I sold my books for quite a good bit of money! I am so thankful He has already provided for this passion He knows I have. So right when I got upstairs I set my new camera on my bed and before opening the box God said, "this is a gift lauren, from your heavenly Father and your earthly father, but it must only be used to glorify me." That was the deal! Of course it will be used to glorify Him. So i know that most people think this is weird but He is teaching me to include Him in every aspect of my life, and i think this was learning experience number one with that. I prayed over my camera, that how I use it may be glorifying only to Him, and that I will not become obsessed with it like it is worth more than Him. And if I do, I must take it away from myself! Sounds like a plan huh? I am so blessed in so many ways, and I am so glad He gave me the opportunity to pay for it with my own money, that way it makes me feel a lot better about making a huge purchase! SOOO cool huh?

O yea....not to mention that I made an A in History of christianity and New testament, and i am pretty sure I kicked western religion's butt too because I finished my test really fast! So even though today was really hard emotionally, I am so floored by what He has done. He never ceases to amaze me!!! So I shall continue praising Him in humble obedience to His will for my life!

Great great day :-)

Sunday, May 2, 2010

What am i going to do?

AHHHH today I found out there is a 0% chance that I can pass Anatomy and Physiology II. And by 0% I mean that even if I made a perfect score on my final and got the 20 bonus points I would still only have a 63. :-(

Humbly, accepting the grade that my studying has produced....I am aiming towards figuring out what exactly it is He is trying to tell me. I have multiple ideas but first I want to say that if this is the only reason why I decided to do nursing in the first place then all of my time and energy in this major studying, reviewing, etc. would definitely NOT BE A WASTE BY ANY MEANS:

A few weeks ago my graduate teaching assistant Charles Kilgore, and i were talking about how amazing the cat was (because we are dissecting the cat). As I was talking to him I didn't get the impression of whether he was a Christian, or not, I actually had no idea either way...but I soon started talking about God and asked him if he believes in Heaven....he said he is "still deciding" ...Last week I was talking to Charles about whether or not he had ever been in a motorcycle accident and he said he had been in two/ kind of....where if he had actually BEEN IN THE if it had actually happened he would have died. I knew that our conversations were again leading us into talking about God again...but they didn't. Last monday my friend Lizzy called me and said, "i have some news to tell ya." I said, "okay, go for it" she said, "well you know Charles, our anatomy gta?" and I said, "yeahhhhh....." she said, "well this weekend he was shooting with one of his friends at a shooting range and his friend knocked the gun out of his friend's holster and the gun hit the ground and shot Charles....and now he is in a medically induced coma." at this moment my heart started racing because I knew that I had not fulfilled God's desire for me to urge Charles to make a decision about his eternity....Lizzy continued in telling me that he has a 90% chance of surviving but that the recovery process will be hell. "IT'S OKAY!" I said! There is still hope....Lizzy and I will be going to visit him sometime this week and I cannot wait to pray over him and help him in understanding the love and power of our Lord and Savior. Charles Kilgore's salvation is worth me taking Anatomy and Physiology II, one two or three long as he will receive eternity in Heaven....I would go through all of this work over and over again just to see one person come to know Christ!